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The first rule is to remember
the names of everyone you’re being introduced to. The most
important part of an introduction is the other person’s name, not your
name. Heck, you already know your name.
When you introduce
two people to each other, the person whose name you mention first is the more important one; lower status people are always introduced
to higher status people. But don’t grovel; a title does not
automatically confer status. “High” status should be reserved for
Presidents/Prime Ministers and your parents.
If you are still
confused, use this tip as a ways to remember whose name goes first: Mr.
CEO, I’d like you to meet Mr. Intern.
There are many rules
about who is supposed to be introduced to whom. I can simplify the rules: 1) Men are introduced to women, so the woman’s name is
said first: Betty, I’d like you to meet Barney. 2) Younger
people are always introduced to older people, so the older person’s name
is said first: Grandma, I’d like to meet my teenage
friend.
At an introduction, a handshake is not always required. A
man always waits for the woman to hold out her hand, and a
youngster always waits for the elder to hold out his/her
hand.
A skilled host/hostess will always give each person a clue as
to why two people are being introduced so that you’ll know how to
make small talk after the introduction. For example, “Sally, I’d
like you to meet Harry. Harry recently returned from his first visit to
Alaska, and he probably would like to ask you question about your
mountain climb on Denali.” It does not matter whether Harry is
actually interested in Sally’s climb. Harry will follow that lead
and begin a conversation. The point of this small talk is not to gather
information but to connect on a one-to-one level.
If you
are not given a clue as to why you are being introduced, just say “How do
you do?” and smile. However, the person whose name came second in
the introduction is responsible for starting the conversation.
Say anything except an observation about appearance; “Wow,
you look great for your age!” is not acceptable. Avoid politics, religion, and sex. Comment on the party, or about the fine weather
we’ve been having, or the beautiful Chagall on the wall. The
point of this small talk is not to gather information but to
connect on a one-to-one level.
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